70 Sex Euphemisms You Need to Know

Have you ever wondered why there are so many great euphemisms for sex and masturbation? Think about all the phrases you use when you’re sharing an XXX-rated story with your friends, or dropping hints to your playmate about what you want to do to them after dark… 

Euphemisms – or the quirky and creative phrases we use to refer to boning and beating off – came about waaay back, out of our tendency to tiptoe around societal taboos. In years gone by, euphemisms allowed folks to talk about sex with a dose of humour and a wink of understanding. As we’ve become more comfortable talking about sex, these euphemisms have continued to serve as linguistic liberators – allowing us to break free from formal and clinical phrases, and use increasingly hilarious expressions to infuse sex talk and banter with humour and playfulness.

We love staying abreast of the latest synonyms for sex, and have compiled our favourite 70 phrases you may not already know. Have fun using them! We know we will… 

Sinful’s Favourite 35 Euphemisms for SEX

1. Riding the bolonga pony
2. Crashing the custard truck
3. Playing a game of Mr. Wobbly hides his helmet
4. Spray-painting the cervix
5. Grummeting
6. Loading the clown into the cannon
7. Shampooing the wookie
8. Plowing the bean field
9. Riding St George
10. Slamming the clam
11. Clunge plunging
12. Thrashing the gash
13. Giving one's arse a salad
14. Boarding the beef bus
15. Jamming the clam
16. Filling her out like an application
17. Burying the weasel
18. Taking the skinboat to tuna town
19. Bruising the beef curtains
20. Pounding the punani pavement
21. Tipping the velvet
22. Entangling the lower beards
23. Conquering the pink fortress
24. Dunking the dingus
25. Quimsticking
26. Giving a girl a green gown
27. Launching the meat missile
28. Riding the bony express
29. Burping the worm in the mole hole
30. Doing the four-legged foxtrot
31. Making the beast with two backs
32. Doing squat thrusts in the cucumber patch
33. Doing the deed of darkness
34. Waving the Weasley wand
35. Creaming the Twinkie

Sinful’s Favourite 35 Euphemisms for MASTURBATION

1. Boxing the one-eyed champ
2. Orbiting Venus
3. Spearing the bearded clam
4. Crowning the king
5. Paddling the pink canoe
6. Making stomach pancakes
7. Fiddling the flesh flute
8. Abusing the wicked stick
9. Playing five-on-one
10. Strumming the one-string harp
11. Shaking hands with the milkman
12. Beating the beaver
13. Dotting the "i"
14. Taking the self-guided tour
15. Playing pocket pool
16. Downstairs DJ
17. Firing off some knuckle-children
18. Making waffles
19. Dialling the rotary phone
20. Cooking cucumbers
21. Put Mr. Kleenex’s kids through college
22. Lone Rangering
23. Petting the cat
24. Finding Nemo
25. Taunt the one-eyed weasel
26. Poaching the egg
27. Scratching Yoda behind the ears
28. A date with Palmela Handerson
29. Polishing the banister
30. Hand to gland combat
31. Trolling the Bermuda Triangle
32. Marching the penguin
33. Burping the worm
34. Flickin’ the kitten
35. Cuffing the carrot