Fun Fact · Masturbation ·

70 Sex Euphemisms You Need to Know

Have you ever wondered why there are so many great euphemisms for sex and masturbation? Think about all the phrases you use when you’re sharing an XXX-rated story with your friends, or dropping hints to your playmate about what you want to do to them after dark… 

Euphemisms – or the quirky and creative phrases we use to refer to boning and beating off – came about waaay back, out of our tendency to tiptoe around societal taboos. In years gone by, euphemisms allowed folks to talk about sex with a dose of humour and a wink of understanding. As we’ve become more comfortable talking about sex, these euphemisms have continued to serve as linguistic liberators – allowing us to break free from formal and clinical phrases, and use increasingly hilarious expressions to infuse sex talk and banter with humour and playfulness.

We love staying abreast of the latest synonyms for sex, and have compiled our favourite 70 phrases you may not already know. Have fun using them! We know we will… 

Sinful’s Favourite 35 Euphemisms for SEX

  1. Riding the bolonga pony
  2. Crashing the custard truck
  3. Playing a game of Mr. Wobbly hides his helmet
  4. Spray-painting the cervix
  5. Grummeting
  6. Loading the clown into the cannon
  7. Shampooing the wookie
  8. Plowing the bean field
  9. Riding St George
  10. Slamming the clam
  11. Clunge plunging
  12. Thrashing the gash
  13. Giving one's arse a salad
  14. Boarding the beef bus
  15. Jamming the clam
  16. Filling her out like an application
  17. Burying the weasel
  18. Taking the skinboat to tuna town
  19. Bruising the beef curtains
  20. Pounding the punani pavement
  21. Tipping the velvet
  22. Entangling the lower beards
  23. Conquering the pink fortress
  24. Dunking the dingus
  25. Quimsticking
  26. Giving a girl a green gown
  27. Launching the meat missile
  28. Riding the bony express
  29. Burping the worm in the mole hole
  30. Doing the four-legged foxtrot
  31. Making the beast with two backs
  32. Doing squat thrusts in the cucumber patch
  33. Doing the deed of darkness
  34. Waving the Weasley wand
  35. Creaming the Twinkie

Sinful’s Favourite 35 Euphemisms for MASTURBATION

  1. Boxing the one-eyed champ
  2. Orbiting Venus
  3. Spearing the bearded clam
  4. Crowning the king
  5. Paddling the pink canoe
  6. Making stomach pancakes
  7. Fiddling the flesh flute
  8. Abusing the wicked stick
  9. Playing five-on-one
  10. Strumming the one-string harp
  11. Shaking hands with the milkman
  12. Beating the beaver
  13. Dotting the "i"
  14. Taking the self-guided tour
  15. Playing pocket pool
  16. Downstairs DJ
  17. Firing off some knuckle-children
  18. Making waffles
  19. Dialling the rotary phone
  20. Cooking cucumbers
  21. Put Mr. Kleenex’s kids through college
  22. Lone Rangering
  23. Petting the cat
  24. Finding Nemo
  25. Taunt the one-eyed weasel
  26. Poaching the egg
  27. Scratching Yoda behind the ears
  28. A date with Palmela Handerson
  29. Polishing the banister
  30. Hand to gland combat
  31. Trolling the Bermuda Triangle
  32. Marching the penguin
  33. Burping the worm
  34. Flickin’ the kitten
  35. Cuffing the carrot
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