Embracing Anal for Beginners

Embarking on the adventure of anal sex for the first time can be both thrilling and nerve-wracking, but rest assured: anal sex can pleasurable for everyone! It just requires a little more finesse and preparation than, for example, stock-standard missionary or your trusty go-to doggy style.

Despite what you may have seen in porn, GOOD anal sex – the type that feels good for both partners – doesn’t just happen out of thin air. We’re sharing expert tips and tricks to ensure your first foray into anal is fun, safe and satisfying.

Let’s Talk Butt Stuff

If you can’t TALK about butt stuff with your playmate, how on earth do you expect to feel comfortable with the physical ins and outs (so to speak), and have a mind-blowing anal adventure?

Ensuring you're comfortable talking openly and honestly with your partner is essential when having anal sex, so before taking the plunge, open communication is key. Discuss your desires, concerns, and boundaries with your partner. Establishing a dialogue about anal play and sex creates a safe space for exploration, and ensures both of you are on the same page.

Relax – Mentally and Physically

A playful attitude and a relaxed state of mind are your best companions when approaching anal for the first time, so engage in activities that help you unwind and embrace the moment. Light some candles, play soothing music, or indulge in a sensual massage to create a comfortable atmosphere.

The reason it’s so important to stay relaxed, both mentally and physically is to help you avoid tensing the muscles in the anal region involuntarily, as this can often lead to a negative or uncomfortable experience.

Take deep breaths, focus on the sensations, and engage in playful foreplay to enhance arousal. The more relaxed and at ease you are, the more enjoyable the experience will be.

Lube, Lube and More Lube (…and Even MORE for Good Measure)

The anus doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, so you need lube – and lots of it! – to have good anal sex. Seriously, and we can’t stress this enough, if you think you’re using too much lube, use a little more for good measure. Un-lubricated anal opens both partners up to potential tears and cuts in the skin, as well as a discomfort or pain, so you're better overdoing the lube than skimping. Apply during foreplay, apply just before insertion, and keep applying as you play to keep things comfortable.

Opt for a high-quality lubricant to ensure smooth sailing. Some people love silicone or oil-based lube because it tends to be thicker and more slippery than water-based varieties, but water-based is best if you’re using condoms and anal toys. Apply generously to both the anus and the penetrating fingers, toys, strap-on or penis for a friction-free and enjoyable experience. 

Bonus tip: Warming lube can help heighten pleasure and make you even more comfortable in the moment.

First, Go Solo

Trying penetrative anal play alone first is a great way for beginners to get comfortable with butt stuff, so grab an anal toy and a condom (for easier cleanup) and enjoy a solo expedition at your own pace.

Solo anal play allows your body’s sensations and responses to flow more freely, which helps you gain a much better understanding of what feels good and what doesn’t. Plus, because you’re focusing on you pleasure and your pleasure alone, you don’t need to worry about someone else and their needs. By taking the time to get comfortable with anal play on your own, you can take those learnings with you into the bedroom for your first partnered anal experience. 

Foreplay is Your Anal BFF

This is true of any sexual encounter, but particularly anal! When it comes to butt play, slow and steady wins the race. Begin with gentle exploration using fingers, ensuring that both you and your partner are at ease with the sensations. Gradually introduce small, well-lubricated toys to ease into the experience, and pave the way for a more comfortable encounter.

When using toys during foreplay, always stick with toys that are designed for purpose – like anal beads, butt plugs and prostate vibes – and feature a flared base. While it may be tempting to use your favourite little buzzing bullet to stimulate the anus, toys that do not feature a flared base or grip ring can be unexpectedly pulled into the anal canal during a contraction of pleasure – and once they’re up there, they may require medical intervention to retrieve them.

Ease into the Experience with Anal Training

There’s no rule that says once you’ve begun anal foreplay you have to progress to full anal sex. In fact, many people find the path to anal penetration to be a multi-session journey, with the aim of getting comfortable mentally, emotionally and physically over an extended period of time.

Many butt play beginners make anal training part of their pleasure process, as they gradually and playfully progress towards anal sex/ penetration. Aimed at preparing the body for comfortable and pleasurable anal play, anal training involves a series of exercises and techniques designed to relax and stretch the muscles around the anus, allowing for a more enjoyable and comfortable experience. The goal is to help the body adapt to the sensations, promote relaxation, and enhance comfort during anal exploration, and it’s a great option for beginners.

Stay Away from Numbing Creams

Anal numbing creams might sound like a good idea, but in reality, any product that’s designed to ‘protect’ you from feeling any potential pain during anal can actually put you at greater risk of injury. Pain is the body’s way of letting you know something is wrong, and if your anus is numb, you can’t feel if you need more lube, or if any of your activities are causing damage. And if you can’t feel those things, you certainly can’t pick up on pleasurable sensations – which is what anal play is meant to be all about!

Relaxation, foreplay and plenty of lube CAN provide a pain-free and pleasurable anal experience, so ditch the numbing cream and take your time.

Embrace Additional Stimulation

Just because you’re engaging in anal play or sex, doesn’t mean you have to focus on the butt and nothing else… We don’t sell hundreds of those double and triple-stimulation, three-pronged sex toys for nothing!

Anal sex doesn’t have to mean anal stimulation alone, so considering increasing overall pleasure by stimulating other hot spots. Applying a clit-sucking toy during anal sex? *Chef’s kiss*