Want to slow down your lovemaking and feel closer to your partner? The Lotus sex position – or Yab-Yum as as it's referred to in tantra practices – exemplifies the principles of tantric sex and is the perfect position to increase intimacy.
Tantra (meaning woven together in Sanskrit) is an ancient Indian practice that combines spirituality, mindfulness and sexuality while emphasising the importance of intimacy during a sexual experience (learn more via our recent post, What is Tantra, and Should You Try It?). If you're craving more intimacy and romance in your sex sessions, Yab-Yum is perfect: offering the opportunity for kissing, full-body embraces, synchronised breathing and intense eye contact.
How to Get into Yab-Yum Position
In Yab-Yum, one partner sits upright with their legs crossed, and the other sits on top of them – straddling them with their legs wrapped around their back. Think "cowgirl" position (one person rides on top the other) but seated upright, as if in meditation.
Benefits of Yab-Yum
Yab-Yum is a slower position that involves more grinding than thrusting, which can help with stamina. As well as being a highly-intimate and romantic position, it’s also great for clitoral stimulation.
If you're on top, your clit will rub against your partner's body as you rock your hips against theirs. You can also have your partner reach between your legs, or you can slide your hand down between your own legs and use your fingers or a vibrator to increase stimulation.
This position can be modified so that any gender or genital partner pairings can partake, and it’s also great for anal sex and exploration. You can use a penis, dildo, or double-ended dildo to explore anal penetration – and, because you can see your partner's face the entire time, Yab-Yum can be a fantastic option for first-time anal play. Not only is the face-to-face positioning of Yab-Yum more intimate, it also allows both partners to read facial expressions to better judge non-verbal cues about speed, depth, and comfort.
Yab-Yum is a reasonably easy position for most people, however small adjustments and variations of this position can accommodate different body types and physical abilities, and even create totally different sensations.
If the bottom partner has trouble maintaining the cross-legged posture, they can sit with their legs outstretched. They might even might find it helpful to sit on a pillow or place cushions under their knees for support, or sit on a chair, or the edge of the bed instead.
Partners can vary between grinding and bouncing, leaning back or forward, fully embracing while rocking, straightening their legs or propping themselves up with them, or adding sex toys. Get creative, listen to your body and have fun with it.