Ask a Sexpert: Choosing Your First Sex Toy

Welcome back to Ask a Sexpert – Sinful’s recurring column where we deep-dive into the questions sent to us by our customers and readers! This month, we’re exploring how beginners can choose the best sex toys to get started.

I’ve Never Bought a Sex Toy Before… What Toys Do You Recommend for Newbies? 

This question hits our inbox on the reg – from people with vulvas AND people with penises – and the first thing is always want to say is, we’re so happy you’re exploring new pleasure possibilities!! 

No matter how sexually experienced a person is, everyone has been a beginner at some point. Every single one of our customers has been through the process of trying a sex toy for the very first time – and we know how overwhelming it can be when you’re browsing the range of the first time, unsure which toys is going to be just right for you!

The good news is, there are a number of sex toys made specifically for beginners that are easy to use, easy to clean, and that can help you understand and explore your preferences. If you're just starting to dip your toe into the fabulous world of self-pleasure and sexual exploration, get excited. There's a whole universe of sex toys for beginners to discover!

First Things First… 

Like all of the best things in life, finding the perfect beginner’s sex toy is not one-size-fits-all. We all have different preferences and sexual likes and dislikes. So, if you’re new to the game and eager to pick out your very first toy, the very first thing you should do is consider what you enjoy during sex or masturbation WITHOUT toys. 

If you dislike penetration, you're probably better off with a bullet or wand vibrator than a g-spot or rabbit vibe. If you know you like anal stimulation, anal beads or an anal vibrator may be the answer to your prayers. 

What are Your Turn Ons? 

Are you into clitoral stimulation? Penetration? Anal play? Think about what turns you on and feels good, and then look for a toy that aligns with the sensations you know you already enjoy.

Consider the physical sensations you like, and search for a toy that can do them in a more intense, or slightly different, way than you can achieve yourself or with a partner. If you really enjoy oral sex, a clit sucking toy or warming ‘guybrator’ might be your ticket to O-town… with the added benefit of being able to go faster and last longer than even the most prolific Tinder date.

You don't need to reinvent the wheel. Starting with what you know you like is the best way to explore sex toys. You can always try something new and adventurous once you’re more comfortable with them.

Start Simple 

It can be tempting to jump right in and purchase something with all the bells and whistles, but we recommend starting simple with your first toy. More advanced toys are popular options, but all of their vibration modes and speeds and complex controls can be a tad confusing if you’re just starting out.

Simple vibes with just one or two buttons – or even remote controls – can be great options if you’re looking for a buzz that doesn’t require too much brainpower. Alternatively, there are tons of great non-motorised toys available which are great for beginners, like dildos and butt plugs.

Frustration is a major boner-killer, so starting out simple ensures you’ll never get flustered at a pivotal moment while trying to manage unfamiliar controls.

Don’t Rule Out Cheap & Cheerful

If you’re keen to spoil yourself with the very latest luxury toy from a high-end brand, who are we to step you?! Go for gold! 

That being said, if you’re testing the waters and figuring out what you like, starting with one or two inexpensive toys – or even a combo kit – can be a great way to go. Shopping more budget-friendly models offers a similar experience to the big name brands, while allowing you to explore your preferences in a more risk-free way.

No single type of sex toy is guaranteed to get you off, and you may not be fussed on a certain brand – even if it has thousands of five-star reviews. Starting with one or two (or three, or four) inexpensive toys will allow you to figure out what you like. You can always invest in a more lux toy down the track, once you know what makes your toes curl.

Check out Best Sex Toys for Beginners for top toy recommendations!